run away

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 05:19:47 GMT

matt is right. i do run away from my problems and from people.

im sorry

its over

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 01:22:12 GMT

so i guess ive been really sad lately. i dont know what from or how to deal with it. but it bascially comes down to that it is my fault. im lonely. i really do need people as much as i won't admit it. I joke constantly about being a hermit and living by myself. The only happiness i seem to get is by making up ridiculous stories as me and cait walk to and from places. I think im good at that. Making things up. I really do live in my own world. People come in and touch me sometimes. Some much more than others. But in reality they never stay im not sure if this is my fault or just how the world works. any way the common themes in each of the stories is of course me getting hurt in some way. I joke about it because this is the only way i know how to deal with hurting. i imagine myself in the way i want to be seen. i guess i can be funny. I love to make people laugh. wow this is random. I dont even know wher im gettin at. I never seem to finish anything. anyway
where was i?
I think i want to ultimately make people's lives better. Make people happy. That is a very broad wish. I dont know exactly what it means.
i really enjoy writing. i dont really think of myself as very good at it. But writing here helps even thought i dont feel its gettin me any where but down considering the fact that i never write unless i have a negative emotion. and lately i cna't seem to get out of my funk
maybe one day
i can't see the day
but one day
ill forget this
its minor
its not

im done w/ this shit

Where is my mind?

run away

its over